August 2018

Transitions...what do they actually feel like?

So many times I think we (yes this includes myself) view life or think about life in terms of moments in time, goals we set, obstacles that come our way, etc... I wonder what would happen if we also viewed life in terms of the feelings we have while experiencing these moments, achieving those goals, or through the obstacles that come our way. I am thinking this is akin to "being in the moment," "being present," "just being" - or whatever phrase that suits this feeling of FEELING. 

I am definitely guilty of always "doing" something - having believed that living "life" constitutes always being on the move and that being "productive" means constantly "doing." It certainly can be a vicious cycle and I have definitely gotten stuck in a space of constant movement - where I am actually not moving at all. It has not been until I finally allowed (or was forced) myself to sit still that I actually "moved." I know this may be a little existential but hear me out. 

In a few days it will be about a month or so into this huge transition of mine. I am talking a geographical, physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional transition. Within these past few years I have been really trying to listen to my intuition/spirit in how I decide to move in the world - so when this current career opportunity presented itself, it felt right and deciding to transition was an easy one. I was beyond excited to be able to work with my communities and come "home" - overall everything has felt "right" and on time (whatever that means).  What I wasn't expecting or really thinking about was what this "transition" would feel like. 

I am a firm believer that we all have journey's to walk and that those journey's have already been chartered out - and that gives me solace into my "moments in time." I certainly have stopped and reflected back on those moments and made sense of what those meant for me but I have never stopped in the moment to think about what those moments feel like. Like now, I am in this huge transition and I can understand it mentally and spiritually but have yet to understand what my emotions and heart are saying/feeling about it. I know I feel different and I know something is happening. But how do I make sense of those feelings or do I even make sense of them? I am starting to wonder what would it feel like if I actually let myself be "present in my feelings" and how that might translate into my greater sense of self. 

We are not transforming into something better or more worthy. We are transforming out of everything we are not. We are transforming Into the fullness of who we we truly are, who we have always been. So allow the true essence of you to finally step forward fully.
— Healing Energy Tools via Instagram